


Dan the Knight and the Great and Terrible Dragon

by Thejordanandhervices



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dragons, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:19:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2786360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thejordanandhervices/pseuds/Thejordanandhervices
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was neither the bravest knight in Over There, not the most cowardly; he had neither killed nor, in fact, ever fought in battle. No one was quite sure, actually, how Dan had become a knight at all. It was not that he was unqualified for the job, but he was also not particularly fond of it and it all just seemed to sort of happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dan the Knight and the Great and Terrible Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read please remember to not take this story terribly seriously! And so we begin. . . .

Once upon such a long time ago that the name of the land has been lost to antiquity there lived a knight called Dan. Dan lived in a land that has come to be known as Over There, as it was so far from anywhere at any time that people didn’t seem to care one way or another what it was called. 

Dan was neither the bravest knight in Over There, not the most cowardly; he had neither killed nor, in fact, ever fought in battle. No one was quite sure, actually, how Dan had become a knight at all. It was not that he was unqualified for the job, but he was also not particularly fond of it and it all just seemed to sort of happen. 

Dan, rather than enforce laws or rescue damsels with odd pointy hats, or whatever knights did (Dan wasn’t all that sure), preferred to spend his time eating what he could find in the forest with his old, but ever loyal horse Couch. 

In fact, it was with Couch in the apple orchard that Dan first heard the news of a creature that has forever changed the course of knights’ lives in stories such as this one: a dragon. 

It only took a couple of days for the knights of Over There to realize that this beast was one unlike any they had ever encountered. It was twelve times the size of any domestic dragon and colored in a way that no respectable dragon of Over There would ever be colored. Knight after Knight and night after night came and went and none had ever retired from the task of slaying the megalithic nightmare. 

About a fortnight after the news of the dragon had come, Dan was still not bothered and had yet to bother himself with changing his routine of apples and naps in the afternoon with Couch. Dan’s direct superior, Sir Youbert of the small town of Tube, from which Dan also hailed, came up to him with his fists on his shiny armored hips and a small frown. It was was then that Dan realized he should have pretended to care a little that his fellow knights were struggling with this unprecedented issue, but it was far too late. 

One sleepless night and three saddlebags later and Dan was off to confront the dragon. After a full morning of riding, both he and Couch were severely worn out and decided to stop for a lunch break. Rooting through the saddlebags, Dan threw out everything he deemed useless that had been packed. Things such as maces and arrows hit the ground as he searched for the food he knew would be squished by the ugly iron weapons. 

Upon finding what he was looking for, Dan laid out his rations, a feast that far out-supplied his needs for the short journey. Under a tree, tucking into the sweet delicacies of Over There, Dan was much too distracted to detect the tremors that began to move the earth beneath him. By the time than he noticed (and he only did notice because a perfectly good bit of bread was rolled into the dirt) it was just into the realm of way way way too late. 

Dan looked up to see a maw twice the size of his gray horse Couch, within which there were two rows of jagged, interlocking, razor sharp teeth the size of Dan’s own femur. Beyond the teeth that seemed to take up most of Dan’s attention there was a massive head and body the color of the air, moving like a disturbed pond. The tips of it’s great wings, ears, and tail shimmered between shades of green, blue, and purple. 

Though this beast was magnificent, and perhaps the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, terror laced up his spine and trembled in every atom of his being. He saw his rather short life flash before him as the beast got ever nearer. It was a rather dull life as far as being a knight went, but it was a happy one and Dan was really rather fond of it and as the standoff continued, he began to think up ways to escape. 

Just as the dragon closed the gap between them Dan caught a glimpse of what was sitting in the space that was the dragon’s belly. Within the cavernous region were countless knights! Some seemed to be sleeping as others arm wrestled or fought. There was even a circle of men playing cards. None, though, seemed to be harmed in the least as far as Dan could see, but his view was cut off by a magnificently large. . . . tongue. The great sandpapery appendage wrapped around his head once before leaving him slimy with his hair sticking out every which way. 

Then, before Dan was able to let out a sound, the majority of the dragon’s large head was behind him, cleaning up what Dan had failed to finish consuming before it found him. Dumbstruck, he was unable to do anything but watch as it lapped up his lunch, much like a cat would milk.

Once it had finished, it turned back to him, eyeballing him and the stick of salami in his had. Dan knew he had to get the other knights out, much as he wanted to just forget them and run away on Couch, and he definitely had to do it before it decided to try him. That’s when the idea struck him. 

Thanks to all the days he spent eating with Couch rather than attending to his duties, Dan was rather familiar with what grew around his homeland of Over There. There was one plant he found one day while hiding from Sir Youbert. He had been stuck in a copse of trees behind the castle all day, knowing that once found, Sir Youbert would want him to muck the stables, a chore Dan did not want to face for the third time in a single week. For whatever reason the horses had been relieving themselves at a frightening rate for days. 

It was late afternoon when Dan could no longer deny his growling stomach and he knew that soon it would been too loud and Sir Youbert would hear him. It wasn’t a minute before Dan cam across a beautiful bush laden with plump looking berries. While he had known them since he was a child, there was something off about the appearance and it wasn’t long before Dan realized it was because these weren’t the berries he was familiar with. 

Five minutes later he knew exactly what was wrong with the horses and he had been caught. 

Dan remembered the berries now and hoped for all he was worth that he would find some before he was unable to continue running, which would be pretty soon after he started. 

Spinning on his heels, Dan sprinted in the opposite direction, the beast lumbering after him, angry and curious. Thankfully there was a bush of the terrible berries a few yards straif (straight and to the left) of him and he had them wrapped up with the salami by the time the dragon had reached him. It stretched it’s massive jowl and he threw it in (a little crookedly, but the beast was so close, he couldn’t have missed). 

He watched the deadly package slide down the dragon’s throat and lost all hope. If the knights hadn’t been digested, how would the berries be effective? Against all odds and before the dragon could decide to eat Dan again, it’s stomach began to rumble and all at once the knights fell out the back end and Dan had saved the day!

While the knights crowded around Dan to thank him for his quick thinking, the dragon had shrunk considerably. It was now long and think like a snake and hovered several feet in the air. It spoke to Dan in his mind, saying: 

“I thank you, kind knight. A terrible witch from my land had infected me with a terrible spell out of jealousy of my power. I was tricked and she turned me into a beast of terrible destruction until you freed me with your wit and kindness. As a token of my deep appreciation I shall bestow upon you my own spell. You shall live all the days of your life spared from the horror and great cost that comes with taking a life. You shall instead entertain those around you with the stories you create by living a full life, unable to fall in battle. As I say it, so shall it be.”

And with his final words, the dragon rose, now wingless (which made very little sense to Dan, though this whole seemed to be a wash) and was gone in the blink of an eye. Though Dan doubted that he would have been able to kill the dragon, even had he wanted to, he was grateful for the gift. 

Indeed, just as the dragon said, Dan became the talk of the town. Nearly every knight, sorry, night, Dan could be found trading stories and laughing with the villagers. Though he was still a knight and had, occasionally to go into battle he always came out of it with a good story as thanks to an innate clumsiness, he always managed to miss his opponents sword. And so lived Dan the Knight: The Dragon Tamer and Keeper of Stores. 

Okay, so they had to work on the name, but it didn’t really bother Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this ridiculous story! ~Jordan (P.S sorry if I got the fandom wrong, I was a little confused. . .)


End file.
